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    Wednesday
    Sep082010

    Infatuation vs. True Love

    Welcome to a new feature of The Passion Fields--Excerpt of the week. Each week I will post a selection from one of my books.  Here's how you guys can help me out.  Please tell me what you think.  As of yet, these books are unpublished so consider yourselves my test audience.  Your feedback is priceless.

    This week's excerpt is taken from a sidebar in Sex For Life.  Enjoy!

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    What’s the difference between infatuation and true love?  So glad you asked!

    First, read I Corinthians 13 verses 1-7 for the Biblical description of love.

    How does that look in a relationship?  Let’s contrast the two.

     

    Love brings out the best in each other. 

    Infatuation emphasizes selfishness because each is focused on how they “feel.”

     

    Love is strengthening in all facets of the loved one’s life, making them want to “be a better person.”

    Infatuation is like a drug—addictive and destructive—you are willing to sacrifice what is important for more of that “great feeling.”

     

    True love encourages the loved one to bloom and fly, opening their horizons.

    Infatuation would stifle and subdue the object of affection out of fear of losing them.

     

    True love celebrates your uniqueness.  You are more free to “be yourself” than ever before.

    Infatuation causes you to morph into whatever shape you think they desire most.

     

    Love is willing to confront when the loved one is in sin.

    Infatuation enables weakness because a weak-willed partner is less likely to believe they deserve better.

     

    Love will lead you closer to God when you’re in pain.

    Infatuation is intimidated by anything that takes your fascinated eyes off them—God included.


    When love is healthy and God-directed it is freeing, making the loved one unfold like the petals of a rose, breathing deeper and trusting God more as all relationships and goals take on deeper meaning.  The focus is on building a future and doing what is best for each other, not just in the short-term but decades down the road.

    Infatuation, on the other hand, focuses on immediate gratification regardless of what is destroyed—family relationships, friendships, future goals, commitment to God’s standards, reputation, self-worth etc. 


    Even true love will have seasons of infatuation because, let’s be honest, new love is amazing!  But, if that “love” begins to destroy your relationship with God, your relationship with family and friends, your self-worth, your honesty, your reliability, your reputation, and goals for the future—it’s time to call a spade a spade.  You’re in a destructive, *idolatrous relationship and you need to put God back on the throne before you two devour each other, because somewhere down the road you’ll look back and recognize the selfishness that ruined your lives.  

     

    *idolatrous--whatever you think about the most; whatever you talk about the most; whatever controls your emotions--that is your God.  (definition by author and international speaker Peter Marshall Jr.)

    

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