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    « Tale of Two Heroes | Main | Greater Things Than These Shall You Do »
    Wednesday
    Mar212012

    Rambling Prayer Before a Book Event

    I’m just trying desperately to find my center in all this.  Selling is the farthest thing from my comfort zone and having to ditch the kids in order to do business goes against the grain.  Stretching, growing and climbing higher are never fun or comfortable—but they’re necessary if I’m going to get to the top of this mountain.  (Could I just have a ski-lift please?)

    It’s so hard because I get into “business” mode, like I’m gearing up for battle, emotional armor in place, but then it’s hard to “be me” with Mark.  I’m in a different mode.  AND I’m grappling with fear, uncertainty, stress, etc therefore I’m kinda wound tight.  I know I need to find my center in God and to put things into perspective—God IS, therefore this other stuff is fluff and needs to be kicked off the throne once and for all—or over and over as the case may be.

    Okay, God, I die to all this crap that pushes me to perform and try to be something I’m not in order to “fulfill” the calling of getting these books into millions of hands.  I can’t do this, God.  Only You can do the impossible which is to kick this into the stratosphere in such a way that it’s obvious it’s You and not just a nifty bit of man-made strategy.  The weight leaves my shoulders and onto Yours—where You don’t even feel it.  “You know the plans You have for me and mine, God, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future.”

    I can’t make the God-scale things happen therefore I will stop trying, stop fearing, stop striving, stop dreading, in essence, stop feeling sorry for myself—and start anticipating what God has in store :)!

    ALL honor, glory, dominion, power, worship, praise, etc. is Yours, therefore I’m not going to waste a DROP of it where it doesn’t belong and fearing anything else is frittering away the honor and glory that are only due to YOU, Jesus.  No.  Won’t do it.  No matter what the situation, no matter what flies in the face of faith today, only YOU will receive my praise, fear, awe, focus and worship.  Even if I have to be praying in the Spirit every minute of this day, I will do that rather than be unduly impressed or intimidated by anything or anyone else.  You alone are God and You do not give Your praise to another—therefore I won’t be a party to it either.  I will stroll through this day covered in a cloud of Your glory, infused with Your supernatural, mind-blowing favor and, whether good or bad, the circumstances will not receive one drop of the focus and praise that is due You.  Period.

    I choose to say no to panic, stress, pressure, intimidation, inadequacy, sickness, frustration, people worship… any shade of any idolatry whatsoever.  Jesus is IT.  God Almighty was, is and will always be.  He IS in every moment I will ever live, never surprised, never wringing His hands, never in despair—therefore I take on the mind of Christ, at peace, focused, strong, fearless, joyful, gracious, kind, every fruit of His Spirit pouring through every pore.  Be the overflow, Jesus.  Eradicate me and flood wherever I am with YOU, pure, holy, all-sufficient, healing, setting all things to rights as I call forth the things that are not yet in the physical realm but are YOUR will for us—your kingdom and will on earth as it is in Heaven.

    Therefore, this is a GOOD thing that I have reached the end of me and can only rely on You.  This is a GOOD thing that I am going into battle and can only come through victorious by being immersed in Your power.  This is the way it should be.

    I’m not sure of everything that just went on, but I sense such an infusion of power and perspective in this whole book venture.  I am no longer walking in trepidation and inadequacy.  I AM sufficiency because Jesus rules in me.  His kingdom is being established so it’s not about me, my abilities, my comfort zone, my success, my books, none of the above.  It’s ALL about Jesus, His will, His mind, His reputation, His ministry, His love.  Therefore I am equipped, I am adequate—even overflowing--with ability, joy, a constant grace and ministry.

    God I am so overwhelmed by You right now.  May I continue to walk in Your overflow, drawing on that flood of grace and power and worship every minute of every day for the rest of my life.

    Jericho has fallen.  It’s been done in the spiritual realm and the Jerichos of this world are ready to topple.  Blind eyes see, deaf ears hear, outcasts are restored, captives freed, dead raised to new life.  Your Kingdom is AT HAND.  I choose to grasp it, Jesus.  Fulfillment of prophecy, fulfillment of God-given longings, fulfillment of lifelong callings… received.  The Jericho’s have toppled.  I’m surging forward into the promised land.

    Wow.  I sense that something powerful and game-changing just happened.  I’m going to go back and read what I just wrote aloud to help it settle into my being.  God, I love You.  You blow my mind.

     

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